Column Felix: Election programme

A helpful summary of all 22 election programmes. Can be used anywhere and at any time.

Elections are coming up. Long live democracy! The population of the Netherlands gets to cast their ballot on 22 November. This year, there are 1126 candidates for a total of 22 parties to choose from. Spoiled for choice, I’d say. Because you probably don’t feel like going through 22 election programmes, and certainly not 1126 profiles of all sorts of dubious persons, I will make your lives easier with a single summary of all programmes. Here goes:

‘Our country has been destroyed in thirteen years of Mark Rutte. The nitrogen crisis, the migration crisis, the housing crisis, the allowances affair. The Dutch have lost all faith in politicians. Bureaucracy has gotten out of control, and the Dutch no longer know what is right and what is left and are screwed over by the government left, right and centre. The mismanagement of recent years has caused nothing but trouble. And we, the 22 parties that are up for election, do not believe that the current politicians are capable of solving these issues.

So, we will do things differently! We will restore faith in Dutch politics and put the Dutch citizens first. Livelihood security is guaranteed for all. We will achieve a healthy living environment with plenty of room for nature, equal opportunities for everyone and a solid perspective for the future. We want a country in which farmers don’t pay the price for failing government policies but in which they finally feel there is a future to be had.

We will reduce shortages in health care, solve the shortage of teaching staff, fix the shortages in the employment market and humanely shelter refugees. Housing will become affordable, and the market dynamics in healthcare will be abolished. Moreover, we will regulate inflation and achieve zero emissions by 2050 without impacting our economic growth.

We denounce the backroom politics that have damaged our democracy. The Netherlands will once again be for everyone, a country in which our children can safely go to school, and our elderly can enjoy their retirement. A country connected not by hatred but by love. Our party puts citizens first.’

The above proves that it makes no difference what party you vote for as long as you vote. One thing is clear: whatever party you choose, the rewards will be many. And in four years, we will see what they made of it.

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