[no]WURries: In love

‘I am in love with my best friend’s girlfriend.’

Suppress it

‘To me, friendship is very important, more important than being in love. Don’t just pull out of the friendship group. Personally, I would try to keep these feelings to myself, however difficult that may be. Then you will keep up the friendship with your best friend and the crush might cool down. Don’t forget that time is a great healer.’

Hyon Mi Mu, Bachelor’s student of Biotechnology

Start dating

‘What an unpleasant, difficult situation for you. I suggest you share your feelings with your best friend; that will be a huge relief. If he’s a really good friend, he will be supportive and maybe not bring his girlfriend along so often when you get together. And do something about it yourself too. Look for someone who is single to date: there are other fish in the sea. Good luck!’

Carolina Castagna, Master’s student of Development and Rural Innovation

One to one

‘My advice is to let sleeping dogs lie: don’t say anything about it to your best friend or his girlfriend. Maybe it’s an idea to meet your friend on his own over the next few weeks or months? There’s a good chance your feelings will die down if you don’t see his girlfriend for a while. As soon as you notice that you don’t feel as strongly about her, you can arrange to meet as a group again, of course. And who knows, in the meanwhile you might meet another nice girl.’

Anke de Bruijn, chair groups editor

Bromance before romance!

‘Tricky situation for you! You don’t want to lose your best friend of course, but this is impossible. It might be sensible to step back and spend time with other people instead. Hopefully you’ll soon discover that there are other nice people in the world, and you can let go of your best friend’s girlfriend. Only you can tell whether you should tell your best friend the real reason why you are temporarily withdrawing. After all,  “bromance before romance”!’

Ilse Rodermond, video marking specialist


‘If I were you, I would try to set aside my love. If you can’t do that, your friend and his girlfriend will soon realize something’s up. If that happens, take a step back and perhaps your feelings will slowly ebb away. If they don’t, you could try this method: soak your feet in ice-cold water while you deliberately think about your crush. That’s a way of associating her more or less unconsciously with an unpleasant feeling. I don’t know whether it really will cure you of being in love, but it’s worth a try. Good luck!’

L.H., Bachelor’s student of Nutrition and Health 

Next [WUR]ry:

Do you have advice for this Wurrier? Or could you use some good advice yourself? Email your tips or question (100 words max) by 24 January to resource@wur.nl, subject noWURries.

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