Typical Dutch

Impossible Dutch names

The Dutch language is really difficult to learn. But what is worse, Dutch first names are very hard to remember. I often don’t even recognize them as a name.

Illustration Henk van Ruitenbeek

I was sitting at a computer in Radix, next to the same colleague as usual. As I was having a brief chat with him, I received a hastily written text message from his supervisor: ‘I could send wouters proposal though.’ For a French person, English is hard enough, so when I hear or see a new word, I always ask for the translation or search for it. So I typed into Google Translate the unfamiliar word which looked like an adjective to me: ‘wouters’. No translation for it. In any language. Just then my colleague glanced at the screen and said with an exasperated voice: ‘Yes… that’s my name.’ I felt kind of sorry for him, because after talking to him for two weeks, I still didn’t know his name.

Dutch names are impossile to pronounce, remember, spell or even distinguish in a sentence

For foreigners from anywhere in the world, Dutch names are impossible to pronounce, to remember, to spell or even to distinguish in a sentence. To make matters worse, some of them are only part of their more familiar full name. Xander, one of my housemates, should be called Alexander – proof that the Dutch are too lazy to write their own names. Finally, when you have managed to remember the name of your Dutch housemate, you must still try to spell it correctly. Like Natasja with a ‘j’ instead of Natasha with an ‘h’. I decided to live with 20 Dutch housemates, so you can understand what a hard time I had at first.

Cindy Lainé, guest researcher in Plant genetics, from France

Have you had an interesting encounter with Dutch culture? Send your anecdote (in 250 to 350 words) and earn 25 euros and a jar of Dutch sweets.The editors reserve the right to shorten and edit the contributions before publication.

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